Don’t get me wrong, the children waiting for adoption need loving families! Families with commitment, strength, empathy, patience and open minds. And an ability to love unconditionally.
Today Kestrel wanted to see the edition of “Be My Parent” which had her profile in it again. She ran her finger over her profile and read it slowly. I found my eyes on the other children in there with her. So many children staring from those pages, needing adoption and fostering.They all needed a loving family.
They also need a lot more than “just” a committed adoptive family to be successful
They needed and need a committed, empathetic and invested society behind them to be successful. And I hope it goes without saying that this applies to all children in care not just the children up for adoption – they all need more than “just” temporary/long term foster families.
We (yes, everyone, society) need to committ in spades to our vulnerable children. And that child in BMP, my beautiful daughter, needed and needs more than what that description says she needs (an adoptive family with strength, a big support network and “some” therapy etc etc), like:
- A committed, educated, invested post-adoption support team
- A committed, educated, invested Health Service and CAMHS, which can meet developmental and emotional health needs
- An committed, educated and invested school support system, including teaching, support staff, EP’s etc
- A committed government who are taking an interest and putting money into above said systems
- Other committed support workers/teams, like the ones soon to be helping my DD with her transition to more independent living
- A whole heap of nice, helpful members of society, just Joe Public, who aren’t going around whining about children in care and adopted children getting priority in school admissions, or not wanting their children to make friends with ‘those kids in care’, or generally perpetuating nasty stereotypes
You know, I’d hate to think how life might be for Kestrel right now had she not had the therapy she’s had, the special school she’s been too, the extended family and family friends and support they give to her, and so on and on.
“Just” me isn’t enough. Yes this home is a solid foundation, support system and source of an unending pool of care, committment and unconditional love.
But it takes a village to raise a child to their full potential. A whole society. Not just a loving family.
That BMP description of what Kestrel needed is rather incomplete. She agrees with me by the way. She’s leaning over my shoulder right now reading everything she can understand and offering a couple of thoughts as I’ve written. She says she agrees because kids “aren’t at home all the time, we’re at school loads, we need nice teachers”. She also wants to know “what is the government?” :D And she wants to upload some holiday snaps, so now I’m losing the computer!!